the lesser of two evils that stole all of my pizzaz

what makes me tick and write is the fear of my past (what happened to me, directly influenced by those lands I lived in), and the fear of my future (what will happen to me, the same or worse if I do not voice about it). sense of loss keeps perpetuating, i wanna have good moments with my life but it seems impossible due to american actions in the past. i remember having some dignity in united states which i do not have or i am not allowed to have in serbia. hereby, i feel treated as a renegade rogue dog who is standing his last stand. at least, this is what i believe the locals think of me.  

Forget Inquisition. This is 21^st century Serbia - the only Christian state in the world where someone has been publicly lynched, spiritually impaled and crucified on the pole of shame!!!!! Look Spain now; freedom, democracy to look up to. Ask Serbians what they want from me, why are they organizing public harassment and inciting various people into hatred? Start with those who did it openly as I have named a few. Do an undercover investigation and see where it leads to…..and then smoke them out 
i do not think that i am dangerous for anyone, despite my writing which
is reflective not of my moods but of the environment i cohabit.
people can look up to me even though i do not consider myself to be a role model, but
the just and sincere, honest man. i have not hurt anyone, but have been the target for many.
my life is the reflection of the reality of today's mankind. it gives me the goosebumps.  

in this short time i’ve been riding around this country i witnessed an unspeakable cruelty, impatience and arrogance on the road. not only that many serbs do not know how to drive, but they lack driving culture and are highly dangerous, evil and jealous above all. the prime example of this attitude are reflected by those who most likely work for the (secret?) police and are driving muscle cars, i.e. latest black benzes and jeeps that can not be bought with serbian daily wages. some of them whose arrogance i had experienced live on vojvode stepe street in newly built luxurious apartments. even if they are allegedly protecting the law, in reality they are protecting only their own ass and are truly dangerous, arrogant and evil. new wyatt earp needs to be born again to deal with this should i say scum. they are pushing the rest of the serbian flock onto me which is anything but the correct and benign. if i did not live in america i would think there an’t any other way but serbian, i would not know the truth and i would have been the same jerk off. that’s why the freemasons are important as the relayers of light. nobody else does it but me as far  as the truth, at least not that i know of. otherwise, i wouldn't be in this unspeakably dangerous mess. another story is that america betrayed me showing its second face too. it’s most definitely the lesser evil at least for the time being.

last minute update 20th of march 2014: 

It is not in my interest to destroy this country; the situation then could only get worse for me to be surrounded by more and more anarchy and hatred. On that aspect I am a real patriot!

however, I have been forced to face the reality whereby I cannot even walk freely in downtown belgrade!

it is like making and maneuvering your way through the walls and walls of human hatred.

all these mean looks and invasive beings, they are not only destroying my privacy but the peace of mind too.

i witnessed the situation today whereby a twelve to fifteen year old was trying to unleash himself from his father’s grip and attack me in the heart of Belgrade in front of his parents. his father was holding him back, squeezing his arm saying to him: i am telling you he is crazy, crazy, just let it go, he is crazy, crazy.

I was dumbfounded, on one hand, finally this attack would've made my situation much clearer, whereby I don’t think serbs would make a big deal out of it, newspapers would not follow it out. on the other, I am thinking who’s behind all this, behind everything, and what benefits do they get out from this situation? 

last minute update April 1st 2014:  public transportation drivers in belgrade (serbia) and taxi drivers coming in too close for comfort do not keep distance esp. on steep inclines, i believe on purpose among other perfidious things, what to do? as their vehicles are more powerful and they are like less than a feet away behind me?!!!

NATION OF COWARDS AND PETTY HOOLIGANS - serbia

the worst thing in the world, imo, 
is the american help!!! 

it's worst than suicide or anything else......

i am sure that neighbor who spat at me, vojkan milosevic or his son who was filming gangster movies or their associates would not vandalize my vehicle. if they wanted, they’d put a real bomb underneath my car as is the custom in this country. also, unknown serbian creeps would not dare vandalize car of some other serbs, such as kristijan golubovic. i am writing as today i got two more bruises on my new car….

because, they are poor, petty, miserable and invoking pity these poor serbian souls can take it on me – their usual victim

all allowed to them by the american president george w bush and his administration -  the cause of the problem, plus the worst people in the world i had ever personally encountered. other than bush administration i did not encounter anyone abnormally aggressive in america for over ten years. here in serbia abnormalcy is present on every step, a lot of them are trying to copycat the aggressive style found in the american movies while on the contrary, in america all actors are all normal in their real lives. they are not pretending to be who they are not. like serbs do... they are acting out aggression perhaps out of fear or mental or physical complexes. one of the first lessons i had learnt in united states was do not stare at anyone. here they come at you, they do not only stare, they are not afraid of anything. such as tonight in streetcar, as i was sitting one freak leaned over me too close for comfort forcing himself onto me (faggot or acting out faggot or mental? perhaps a psychopath? older drug addict? washed out blonde hair with empty but mean-blunt facial expression) and as i did not say anything he finally put his hand on the holder behind my back, did he stab me with some needle? i was freaking out inside and finally stood up from the seat. it is madness. this is like walking amongst real life monsters. despite that, the biggest mistake of my life was going to america. not only that country ruined my family but they marked me back on my serbian whereabouts, so i have not had a moment of peace ever since i came back to this effin country of miserable post communist souls called serbia (post communist because people in capitalist countries do not vandalize things out of blue - i never experienced trauma in USA because of that). only communists = anarchists = serbs do not know how hard is to earn something. only the lowest forms of life would allow these insensitive monsters to take a bite of me - talking about THE GREEN LIGHT that came from America - "THE LAND OF FREEDOM AND JUSTICE", " " " " " ". sure enough, these faggots in american embassy are protected as polar bears, nobody is going to touch their cars around here as well. even if they do - they have funds to repair them many times over.

my point is if serbs did not have anything against me or were not instigated by the american government, i would be invisible in their eyes, nobody would try to damage my property just because i own it!!!!! alas, they do have something against me and they are showing it off everyday - compliments of george w bush and america. thank you Mr. American President!!!!! i am pretending to be too nice to call these people names herewith, but wishing them back whatever they did to me, it should return to them thrice as much or many times. i am sure they will all have some problems.

i am talking about the property damage - the only reason me being in America, once. there is no other explanation whatsoever. nobody is saying a word. i have to - because serbs are continuing with their mindless aggression endlessly. because nobody, and i mean nobody, can control these poor serbian bastards on the lose, not even their president. i do not even want to describe the mean shit the locals with their tribal level mindset are preparing to me as daily routines, such as beeping horns to push their way through or cutting me in traffic. these are horrendous times and horrible people. making here the obvious connection: serbs - george w bush - america - horrendous evil
poor bastards have no other business but to unnerve me. why do not they try to unnerve kristijan golubovic?! their heads would fly....
the only person who openly threatened to vandalize my vehicle out of pure jealousy works for the (Drzavna Bezbednost) serbian secret service, so i am sure that they are instigating hooligans to come at me further down the line utilizing national and core values, most likely calling me a traitor!!!! i do not blame serbs for that - because they have no brains, they are evil, i blame america for it, because they are the ones that gave them the know how and instructions, without america serbs would not know about me.......
so do you feel like nothing is going to happen to me because i am just standing up for my rights. i think not. by standing up for your rights, you are putting your life on the line because i am sure any state would not tolerate what has been written here, neither would I

last minute march 24th 2014: the same guy that works for serbian secret service called me today pretending to be on his best behavior, almost chirping. despite, he revealed his true colors during conversation stating that he was going to send me back to "mother's cunt" finally asking me if i was ever seen by the psychiatrist. only then i hung up assuming immediately that something terrible is being prepared for me by his comrades from the serbian secret service or the government on account of the good mood he was in. 

this is absolutely abnormal.

never had direct, lifelong enemies in my life before United States had created them for me here in Serbia. absolutely, all hatred that I am experiencing locally is directly linked to my time spent in United States. there is absolutely no other explanation. I have no idea what that could be, but on the street where I grew up I have enemies I have not heard of. These are all people that moved in later, there goes the neighborhood. One of them is politician who spat at me for goodness sake; I have no idea what for. United States did not think ruining my family was enough; they continued instigating this half baked people into hating me for reasons unknown. I always thought USA was the land of a law and reason, the one to look up to. now I feel betrayed, I need to pinch myself often to determine if my life here in Serbia is nightmare or reality. It is the reality and it is nightmare as well….

It seems as if serbs received some junk information about me, and the problem is that they are so judgmental, always comparing me to themselves but they always have to be on the top. So if they perceive me as better off, there are problems. That’s where the hatred kicks in. I don’t know what info they were served, but they must look at me as some sort of idiot in order to deny me and despise me. this must have been cooked on the level of either CIA or Serbian secret service. I am sure vlade divac or any other normal guy does not have power to instigate this response from the population as some government agency. there is something that stinks big time in this country. unfortunately, I have to stand up because this situation is against my beliefs on freedom and human rights and nobody is protecting me, they would like to kill me if they could and I am sure they are trying

on serbian craziness

terrible, terrible people. That’s exactly why I did not want to buy a car earlier, knowing that it will only cause me problems in the city, because serbs are nothing but jealous. they think only they should get benefits of all sorts, nobody else, so they cannot stand you if you have something they have, they wanna keep you down below, below their LEVEL.

well, I witnessed some drivers are driving recklessly (on purpose or out of hatred? inclusive of public transportation drivers) in order to create trouble on the road, and in my opinion there is no driving culture in this country. i drove near million miles in America although with automatic trans and to brush up on technical aspect since my car has not got a tachometer, i asked several locals about driving stick shift which immediately spread the rumor that i do not know how to drive. serbs were quick to label me. nevertheless, they all gave me different answers, some of them did not make sense, so it led me to believe serbs know jack shit about driving. plus they are very mean – highly malicious group of people. by now, i know all the marks on my car and today i spotted a few more - of the intentional vandalism caused by jealousy sort. today i parked car in my friend’s company yard and stayed there 15 minutes and thereafter i went to nikola kusovac to get some art certificates. all of a sudden, ratko simicevic appeared at artmedia where nikola kusovac works who voiced out his false accusations against me earlier. simicevic is very popular with secret services and the likes, i get sick every time i see him, so when I got back to my vehicle i saw some hate marks and i could not believe that simicevic did it. so i called my friend and told him that perhaps it happened in his company, he said come back, we’ll call police. i did so and we checked the video from the security cameras along with his security guy. nothing was on there, so my friend got very excited and told me i was wrongly accusing him and that we were friends no more. so, what if my life around here was normal and nobody paid attention to me, nobody had the urge to destroy my life and property, everything would have been all right. i would not double check everything, in america i did not have such worries. but again, again and again i do not know what these local mofos want from me, why they are bothering me? that's sort of a situation no human being was ever trained to handle.
in 1999, I went to washington dc to protest against the bombardment of Serbia, nikola nick lonchar the president of American tesla's society was there in the group and he can vouch that I was there too. so, then, I put my American future and the future of my family on the line because of Serbia, and Serbia has been saying thank you in the most and utterly despicable way for the past ten years to me since I came here. what that means? who can approve of their lunatic behavior? perhaps even that protest was the cause of the major problem I had with american authorities when inexplicably my family was destroyed in united states as CIA was video taping the event. i was described as potential terrorist and monitored for six months as such, when everyone knows i would not be able to kill an ant without remorse. i am/was the object of ridicule in the community, how can i be a terrorist? so, what did I do to Serbia to keep punishing me?!!! stress overload finally gave me psoriasis, the uncurable disease and when I say they are crazy for attacking me, crazy here sounds like a compliment. because even the crazy people would not be attacking anyone for no reason whatsoever and forever! no, serbs are not crazy, they are something else. and I still haven’t discovered what are they….
follow up on 13.03.2014: this evening around midnight a jealous serbian secret service agent entered my car without my permission and repeatedly jerked a manual trans stick without pressing the clutch grinding my gears (in round whisking motion as if making egg-nog; there was a loud bang later on in the gear box when i engaged in the gear) while sitting in co-driver's seat, he then turned the cd player on and turned the volume to maximum with metallica's creeping death playing on stereo as if he was trying to blow up my speakers. he then forced himself into an adrenaline rush, jumping up and down on the seat to the beat of music, however, he is over 150 kilos of weight and it did unnerve me as my car is a small car. he also made a suspicious move with his left arm as if he was ripping or reaching for something somewhere underneath the seat, and then i realized he may have inserted the spy bug as when i tried to ask him what he was doing he showed me his empty hand as if he had expected what i was upset about. it is really unnerving when he lets me know about all things i was doing that day, and it is impossible that he had overheard it from somebody. all the time while this show of force was going on, i begged him to step out of my vehicle, but he did not mind, he wanted to unnerve me out of pure jealousy asking intimate questions, how much i paid for it and so on, calling me earlier that day a faggot, homosexual and so on. his coworker on the night shift who waited for him in another vehicle probably sniped me with some powerful laser as my eyes hurt and perhaps he even put something on the frame of the picture i traded with him. were there more of them hidden in park bushes?! so this was a bad judgment call, a bad choice for me to go out at midnight to do business (trade fine art) with serbian secret service agents around their headquarters at karadjordjev park in belgrade. when i touched a frame of that painting, i promptly got instant blisters similar to psoriasis i got recently, so could this be some sort of military grade poison available to serbian secret service? a friend to whom i complained about this event told me that serbian secret service can kill me and come clean as if nothing happened because they killed so many people over the years and nothing has changed up in that department. they are still very powerful, more powerful than the state. as far as me, i would like to know what sort of a deal they have made with american cia as far as i am concerned because i do not feel safe at all, as if i am still alive but it is not to be taken for granted.

tit for tat, When The Saints Go Marching In

even though i begged for mercy in my last post, it appears that american emissaries in serbia are even putting more pressure allowing local secret services to terrorize me as they like. it’s a green light for messing up my life. finally, as a result of this terror and harassment, i developed an incurable skin condition – psoriasis, for the first time in my life, which as doctor said is the direct result of enhanced and excessive stress. just came back from shopping this evening witnessing serbs (those tonight looked like members of italian mafia driving powerful, expensive vehicles waiting for me outside the store, the guy  was undressing himself inside the car showing me his bare upper body, and my sixth sense told me that there were others around doing something else, so I decided to choose a different path back home, although I believe I did not escape to what they had planned, I feel eye pain and pressure, they are using every single street trick in the book to bitter up my life as much as they can.)

that’s why i am going to go with russia in the oncoming war in ukraine, just to feel that little bit of tit for tat, some relaxation from my dire reality, as i am sure americans are going to lose that battle there, perhaps because of what they did to me. you do not chase nor expel from your home the cat that came to your doorstep, it’s bad luck from the get go. too bad serbs are not engaged with their american mentors so this pleasure'd double.