unusual grays.

saw a hooded angel this evening around 19:30 hrs in the city bus 48. the angel looked something like Olivera Jeftic.

of course, got intrigued, there was something in the air, though nothing like sexual thing, more like the glimpse of her brought me back to biblical times. as if i was walking among people from the old and new testament. 

the angel got off on the same station i did -- karadjordjev park. later i thought, i should have tried to see if she was for real. paul drake sort of thing.

there's another angel looking thingy called ana rel. - she reminds me of high renaissance tymes. saw her once as she was walking her little dog downtown and that was it. oh brother, my life's so boring. sweet Jesus, the only think that messes bore are serbs itching to deny me. where's Olivera now?

ONE AGAINST ALL

 what's direct opposite to the king of cool

 they want to destroy me in stages. recently, guy that came into neighborhood beat me to near death for nothing. it feels like the entire secret services of serbia inclusive of military are zeroing in on me!|!! douche-bags...

even though the situation is catastrophic as regards my human rights in serbia i won’t go back to united states, that’s for sure. i am in hell now and i won’t go back there, it’s got to tell you something.

i must say that i almost got a brain damage as i entered bus #25 today as a freaking serb or many of them were going to attack me, it seemed so. they were barking, snarling, making spitting noises, rolling their eyes as if they're freaking out, grinning, laughing, behaving like damn animals. they weren’t pretending, man, that was scary just to see these faces of doom. blood flushed into my brain and i felt it clogging in my right temple, also felt huge pressure in lungs and around heart and thought so be it. because i did not expect such a wicked attack all of a sudden by unknown individuals. i still feel pain in my temple like it is going to explode. i feel a great chest pressure too.

next to harassing, serbs are obsessed about owing a vehicle, most of them drive and most of those that do not have money to drive, inclusive of hooligans and various lowlifes get on public transportation where i am exposed to unseen terror. on the streets there is yet a chance to loop and swing around most of them, not aboard a bus or streetcar.

there were many other things that happened today but i am not feeling well because of this and i will stop here and let your imagination work what serbian cia – bia which is obviously not controlled by serbs – is doing to me. only such institution can promote terror and public lynching of one individual on such a large scale. think about it. serbian way of patriotism is brought down to street levels -  hooligans majorly play it out and as a joke serbian three fingers salute was introduced by bia (obviously not run by serbs) some time ago – it was copied from croatian fascists who killed many serbs during wwii. that’s an unbelievable paradox and sarcasm that this nation can take and finally come at me – the guy who does not have a clue and does not deserve this kind of terror because i did not participate in anything. i repeat in anything they want me hanging about. i do not know what their fucking problem is! as matter of fact i did for this country what none of them will ever do, i invested six years in research and money into publishing a book about one of serbian american greatest painters - nicholas petkovich. nobody except a few collector friends bothered to say hey thanks man! on the other hand they have been treating me like shit for 11 years and i do not even know why. i am only guessing. i intend to stay my ground in serbia, i won’t be moving to israel, russia or anywhere, i was born here and i am going to fight through pacifist methods and this blog by exposing the underground mafia working styles of evil – locally, does not matter if it comes from the government, businesses, or individuals. 
have admitted publicly to being the greatest coward in the world and it seems as if this admission gives serbs the wings, a green light to go at me with all they have. and who goes against the cowards, if not those that are the greatest cowards themselves. there is something wicked that drives this nation and i do not know what it is. 
earlier today as i transported art of national interest to nikola kusovac by streetcar no. 10 i recorded the audio above (mic was muffled as the phone (recorder) was placed in pouch and then in a pocket not to attract the attention) as i was surrounded by 12 young hooligans that were not so aggressive as they could be, but even so i
- skipped exit and drove several more stations as i was afraid to pass through them while they were constantly kicking and abusing each other a step away from me,
- thought about pressing an emergency break and asking driver to call police to establish an order which would definitely provoke them to escalate violence,
- was expecting them to kick me at any time, to kick art and destroy my belongings like an expensive cell phone.
- was cornered on the rear platform and only exited after they exited, was deranged for a few sec and then ran for the appointment as they yelled "get him, there goes the faggot" which leads me (together with the fact they just drove not knowing where exactly to exit) to believe that perhaps they were on the harassment task. just listen and decide whether you would like to be cornered by 12 of these ca. 17 y.o. hoodlums.

as all managers of torture camps in yugoslavia (all live in serbia now with the status of earthly gods) were never reprimanded, they still live in belgrade and
enjoy all sympathies of the current regime in serbia
i suspect this recipe, just improved and modernized, is in place for me:
http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/commentators/vanessa-redgrave-guantanamos-torture-regime-is-a-shameful-disgrace-6163256.html
http://www.amazon.com/Goli-Otok-Mr-Josip-Zoretic/dp/1589399900
http://www.croatia.org/crown/articles/9109/

serbia is the only state in former yugoslavia that never officially parted ways with terrorist legacy of the same and reprimanded the guilty - instead serbia promoted them. they as mentors are in charge now.
would not be writing this if something did not snap in my brain (around temple) yesterday evening out of pure despair, shock and disbelief in that bus, and feels like clogged brain artery, pain, and possible hemorrhage...imagine if someone out of blue picks and forces you into a small cage with thousands of angry cobras...wouldn't you snap too?

THE COUNTRY OF EVIL MEN

these were the three days of calm before the storm. someone told serbs to keep quiet for several days and again today all hell broke loose again. it seems impossible to guard and steer this nation. nothing more, it's a damn joke.
meanwhile, during the weekend heavily guarded by serb police, croatian "ustashas" were boarding busses on slavija square in belgrade and it appeared they also knew me and one of them wanted to start a fight while trying to play a chicken with me walking straight into me.
as i approached, two croatian girls were singing a known serbian song: "you do not have enough money to even reach prishtina (to escape serbia)" it appeared just to unsettle me as their voice changed pitches irritatingly. 
they obviously hate me even in croatia. i think it is a balkan thing, hopefully not european.
the best case scenario would be if united states opened my file and told the world what exactly happened with me. that would not leave serbian secret agencies any ground to speculate and tell crazy stories to this people which make the grounds for their hate and phantasies. those that steer their hatred are pure monsters.
with everything i went through i vouch the unknown serbian motto could be 'beating thorny bushes with another guy's penis sounds like a good idea.'
seems like they cannot understand that they are ruining my life with their every step, every hate look, every wrong decision which they make all the time.
basic thing is - they think i am crazy but not in a positive way while someone somewhere opened a can of worms and told them to think and behave so. like i said in my view correct punishment for this unbelievable and extreme distress of body and mind would be eternal darkness without a chance to see the sun again

IF LOOKS COULD KILL - LIKE DOGS, LIKE MASTERS

i cannot think of no one else but BIA (serbian equivalent of CIA) orchestrating this aggression and provocation by the serbs i have never seen before. they all know me. it is terrible. from the moment i step out onto the street and get spit on by my (old and very close by street nos.) neighbor's physical workers - twin brothers (mr. S. owns a building company, why - i cannot think anything better but like dogs, like master - why those two twins with room and board in neighbor's house constantly spit at me every-time they pass by at close range?), to the line in supermarket where i get shaken down aggressively by the people with provincial serbian accents, etc, etc. i am only wondering who gave this people a right to judge me and obviously their verdict is to harass, molest and come at me with everything they have. 

WALKING OVER CORPSES - SERBIAN STYLE 
 (I 'M NOTHING BUT DEAD DUE TO THE LOCAL POLITICS OF PUBLIC HARASSMENT AND A NEW WAY OF PUBLIC LYNCHING)

I would just like to be left alone – which seems impossible. their behavior is cyclical as if someone is directing it most likely from the tops of government. they come at me all guns blazing and then when i complain hereby, they get quiet for some time, months or weeks and all of a sudden provoke again.

i do not have a liberty to be honest and come forth with what i think is happening because i still want to survive in serbia even with this sort of unbearable harassment. i hope someone from above is looking and making a count. if these people only believed in God it would have been much easier to bear life in serbia… otherwise, like dogs, like masters

they think they are the gods – they judge and bring forth their verdicts, they are the masters of life and death 

WALKING OVER DEAD BODIES - SERBIAN STYLE 

(I 'M NOTHING BUT DEAD DUE TO THE LOCAL POLITICS OF PUBLIC HARASSMENT AND A NEW WAY OF LYNCHING IN PUBLIC)

  ps. i'd never run a post denouncing neighbors if the spitting did not become the sport (favorite pastime activity) among the serbian hooligans, high school youth and aggressive teenagers around the city, even old communist retirees participate in it. it is the reflection of who they are - and as far as youngsters who their teachers are! it is the reflection of local culture and customs!

furthemore, an older guy in the bus 18 was simply slaughtering a young girl with his looks for opting to take a seat next to me. he wanted to kill her with his looks. he did not even want to look at me, he was killing her because she had a courage and liberty to take a seat by me. i felt pity for her - but that's a proof not all serbs are of the bad seed. if i had done something, anything to them that would provoke such a hatred and inquisition i would understand, but i do not understand that i do not even know any one of them and their hatred and animosity are truly unspeakable. if God asked me what punishment would be satisfactory for what they did to me - i would say an everlasting night on Earth at least. it would be interesting to see how they do when they must worry about themselves and not about me. 
october 17th 2013: to my surprise to the long list of those engaging in provocations this day has added homosexuals and african or cuban negro refugees. a typical serbian homosexual who obviously had AIDS (super skinny, bony looks and a trenchcoat) was harrasing me in the bus 31 by sending a sprinkling jet of saliva into my direction while talking on the cell phone, and as I changed seat he turned around and did it again towards me onto the opposite side then. next, a negro girl (cuban or african?) who can only be a refugee in this country confirmed the harassment has no end in sight by showing animosity in the specific way that is a bit hard to describe, but her point was obvious. so my dream to be knighted (not posthumosuly and in old age) by the English Queen ends with the reality of being a third grade citizen in the fatherland called Serbia. sewper trooper!!!!!
october 18th 2013: i'll try staying at home as much as i can to avoid further provocations. which again determines the quality of one's life.

ONE STUPIDLY WASTED LIFE

is the major task of one nation and state to fuck up some guy down the road?!
what good does this serve? what my children and grandchildren will say to all this?
it seems a crazy task but it
is the real one. read on...
an example of what goes on, oct. 14th 2013: as i boarded a bus no.  17 (GSP 1311, BG 058 ĆX) between 21 and 22 hrs in the center of zemun, a few minutes passed before the driver started making noises as if drumming all over the cockpit. it sounded as a signal to a guy who was sitting in parallel to me to start making all sorts of noises with his key-chain set while driver was setting up a rhythm. half of the bus were glimpsing and grinning while this hooligan-looking individual with rutty face (fighting scars or disease?) was staring at me all the time. not only that i felt uncomfortable but i promptly realized it may have to do with what i have posted in reference to anti-terrorism expert, a neighbor, who runs the city with dragan djilas, vojislav seselj, and other guys who command what these aggressive orangutans will do. as i exited at autokomanda the orangutan came after me and passed by too close for comfort even though there was a plenty of space not to come anywhere near me on this spacious bus station and kept staring like crazy while still making noises with his keys which at that time lasted almost 40 minutes non stop during and after this long ride. to me this was entirely crazy and indoctrinated provocation that i witnessed many times before. someone needs to be responsible for this people, someone needs to find who is in charge of this nation and tell them what is it like to be the part of europe, free world and 21st century. imo, only novak djokovic (the modern day saint) is capable of inspiring serbs into good deeds and unless someone does not spark his attention by doing the same things to him the situation will be, it will remain as crazy as it is now. i am not even trying to be successful in serbia and/or secure a decent living (i do not even drive like the majority of serbs; 90% sport nice looking cars; btw, i am not even allowed to have wife or girlfriend - when there is no peace/security/liberty guaranteed) by writing this i am just trying to preserve the peace of mind, just that. at this time the only certain future prospect i am looking at is some intentional harm down the line, or more hurt and harm cumulatively every day brought on by unknown to me citizens of serbia. this place is hell on earth as far as i am concerned. and it is real, it is not some marina abramovic's contrived or nonsense stuff. i am an artist, and i am sure i am too sensitive for this hell. 
October 15th 2013: same thing happened again on streetcar no.10 between bajlony market and and slavija. it simply means that serbs are instructed into harassment by a higher serbian authority, no doubt. 
everyday the victim is looking into the eyes of its tormentors. the more i pray for them, the worst they are. i never meant to hurt or harm anyone of them, but they are trying to hurt me every day. i never dreamed i was going to get beaten by the neighbor unexpectedly and almost to death. besides, they killed me so many times both physically and mentally, they are practically walking in the pool of blood, gore dripping from their fingers.
 read what the crime does. hereby i am only wrapping and jazzing it up a bit, the crime is not as sweet as i am portraying it herewith:
God knows why are they ruining my life? why are not they going to leave me alone? on his return to serbia vlade divac stated: "the difference between serbs and americans is that serbs mind everybody's else business while americans mind only their own." that's why. and that's why americans allowed it to happen to me. serbs minded my business and americans did not care. for the last ten years i have been in serbia i have not done any harm to anyone but i feel hated as if i am at least a child molester. as far as i am concerned, serbia is the real pandemonium. 
10/10/2013, kalenic market, belgrade, serbia: a gypsy trader asked what was the high tech phone i was using, as i replied samsung s4 he stated that he would never give me a discount to the approval of the crowd. another example as far as minding business is concerned in serbia. 
10/11/2013: maxi supermarket, vojvode stepe blvd. belgrade: as i waited in line to be checked out by cashier marija, she switched register with mary. i then also switched register and went to marija's new line only to experience her swinging places again with terrible betty. just to avoid me. to me this was the purest example of utmost disgust and hatred on the part of serbian population represented by marija, mary and the third one i call black betty. to clear, while i'd take marija (a dream for a dreamer) as the "legal" LDS wife, i would not wish black betty as a friend. all in all, i then just left chocolate milk on the register and headed out. btw i am the type that avoids showdowns at all costs. i could see in marija's eyes, she and all other serbs treat me like a walking nicholas cage or val kilmer (while in fact they treat me as a celebrity that is not a celebrity; or the phenomenon) whose mother they can fuck at any time. they think i am shit, while i think i am the shit though they'll never agree they owe me anything more than a full metal jacket. i think i deserve respect at least as the human being. even the lowest of serbs believe they have the right to unsettle, harm and upset me. it is fully and truly amazing what is going on with me. basically, if marija won't check me out, i do not want to be checked out at all in maxis. they do not want to accept me, as that'll never be. they just want to start troubles.
10/11/2013, skadarlija, belgrade, 16:00 PM: as i was walking among parked cars, the driver of silver Toyota RAV SUV wanted to run me over intentionally and then sped away, his license plates were BG 208 ĆD
10/11/2013, terazije, belgrade, 15:50 PM: as soon as i exited bus #31, a guy that was collecting signatures for the election campaign of a new city mayor started making intentional noises and attracting passersby attention. he was staring at me while directing their attention and i then went sly as a fox and approached him. i wanted to find out what mayor he was voting for. his reply was dragan djilas. then i realized that mr. djilas was in power for a long period of time same as my neighbor, CIA agent and "one of the greatest anti-terrorism experts in the world", who spits like crazy whenever sees me (squeakiest wheel maketh the most noise) - i do not want even to state his name, and how many more individuals in serbian hierarchy there are that possibly promote ultimate hatred among their followers. to me personally, mr. djilas was an appealing guy. not now. furthermore, if i did not make a mistake of going to america in the first place i could have been him.

stink from serbia followed me to america.

yugoslav military summoned my late father and tricked him into answering where i was located in america. soon after that i was forced to leave my family and depart to serbia where i was promptly summoned to military psychiatrist to answer why i did not want to serve in and fight for the yugoslav military for years (10 years span). it turns out some serbian schmuck from yugoslav military recruitment office supported by the yugoslav army secret services made fools of the stupid american asses that went against their u.s. constitution annulling everything it guarantees and says with respect to individual and its rights. well, now i know i went to the wrong church to say my prayers – the church called united states of america. bunch of stupid no-good liars that will let down anyone in a sec.

following that episode my life in serbia turns to hell which lasts to this day (11 years span). bigotry, spying, snitching, harassment, blockades of all sorts, no remorse, false rumors, physical and verbal attacks, various frame-ups and accusations, intrigue plotting, false incrimination, intimidation of friends and potential friends as well as relatives, undeserved judgments, name calling, persecution on every step have been the order of the day for me in serbia. it seems as if some serbs (usually the lowest of kind even if they wear ties) are instructed to compete who will show greater hatred toward me - which they deem must be a patriotic, anti-eu, anti-american, anti-defeatist, and anti-fifth-column act. name it a biblical scale torment and you won't make a mistake. i am not writing this because i see the light as yet.just the opposite.