developing a four eye vision while twitching with spasms

you can be serb or american all you want, but be human first.

after i was attacked unexpectedly on several occasions and beaten almost to death last time, i have to admit i’ve never been so paranoid in my life as i am now being in serbia. everywhere around here i am expecting new attacks out of blue. there were times i walked alone in harlem, n.y.c., after midnight and there were times i was surrounded by fifteen “niggers” in watts street in philadelphia while some of them were yelling ‘get the gun, kill the motherfucker, kill him’ and i am still alive. now, after everything i’ve been through – all those numerous and deadly adventures, to me it is beyond comprehension that in one “free european country” i still have to look over my shoulder on every five seconds. i don’t duck, i an’t afraid of bullets just physical and mental blows and abuse by serbian population - public impalement. thinking about it, it all has to do with serbian government - the one that bangs the drum for hatred and approves of the serbian behavior? when i came back to serbia, the first thing i knew, the military summoned me* to army psychiatrist who was telling me how terrible americans were for keeping (me) in guantanamo style isolation while bypassing every single legal step and constitutional right and ruining my family in the process. however, serb state never did anything to defuse the escalated hatred that rose within the lines of some serbs. the stupid hatred. on my part, i did not do anything locally to promote this hatred towards me. the government did. i must say also that next to those who were overly aggressive in their actions (majorly lowlifes, thugs, gangbangers, drug addicts), all those serbs that openly showed their animosity toward me were handicapped either physically or mentally and my fault was that i did not realize that one too early. i always wondered how an unknown beautiful girl walking by could hate me, not thinking then what a mental wreck jobs they were on the inside. thus, if i had thought about it earlier, i would have spared myself from a lot of trouble of wondering why. there are many people here that have some nasty complexes and internal problems of all sort. not everyone, but many. however, as i rode bus no. 18 today – august 30^th 2013 – there aboard came an older skunky looking guy who flashed and wielded a ball pen in a stabbing motion and he even came after me as i was going to exit wielding his ballpen as knife, as if he was going to stab me. he stood behind all of a sudden saying ‘but no’ and returning to an inside standing spot as i exited, what if he was a bit crazier or more drunk – i believe he was half-drunk - give away sign were bloody red eyes - what if he did attack me, that would have been another one. i think it would have been a joy for all those crazy serb and american bastards that did this to me and promoted hatred and violence for years on end. 

s.o.s.

* don't feel betrayed - i feel unfairly extracted from the society (wedges inserted; artificially created hiatus), blocked out from helping hands, and exposed to all evil in this nation:
- was it fair that i was not allowed a chance of a new beginning, a chance of a new family in serbia,
- my home begins falling apart, and there is nothing i can do since i am prevented (blocked out) from being able to do anything constructive,
- how is it possible that almost everyone who wants to - drives in serbia - was it fair to keep me unable to profit on my intelligence and reconnect with the society, continue living prosperously as i was in united states. serbian nation drives, and i don't. this is a small indicator of what they did to me and where is my newly found place in the serbian society. i am too inferior in comparison with the rest of serbian nation. serbs took off all abilities and advantages away from me as a punishment - for what? the only powerful ally i have around here is God. 

caffeine high

even-though they ruined my life and nagged me incessantly  ... i love serbs

::: ::: :::

they do not call me the miracle maker without a reason :::: AEGIS ::: AEGIS ::: AEIGS ;; i am so able i can turn the stone into a muscular jelly i have seen on the body of m. popovic, the volley ball player from belgrade. it's a God given gift to me.

second day-last minute: watching in disgust some local tv anchors, some of them with lips creased after going down and most likely performing blow job on a soiled member - the first association; it is gross. and sickens me

pissing myself off again, no doubt

10th of august 2013: after all is said and done it’s time to get mad again 

cannot fucking deny all those bad-ass times i had in usa & serbia, but overall being-dicked times weigh more. fuck'em.  
my appeal to the GODS: i am all for that to squash the ugly, bodybuilding and overly aggressive head of the serbian snake without brains and to construct a new friendly lizard-like benign creature that will spread love and compassion and mutual understanding between the human races. absolutely there is no reasoning and mercy around here, it's proven

LAST MINUTE FOLLOW UP ON 13th of august 2013: my american experience thought me, if you near snakes showing your best side and behavior, the snakes will break off some good too, not serbs. from day to day they are turning more violent and stupid with respect to me. for goodness sake, their military security service had created a false identity and presented (it) me to the united states in the light of war criminal. thus it ruined my life and family in the process eleven years ago. who can forget and forgive that to both type of idiots that live in these countries?!! idiots with powers to ruin lives and get away with that. but their war party is ongoing, they just cannot leave me alone to keep watching the paint dry. govna! this blog's knowledge goes out to those that have not heard about me and how it was done. the only reason i don't know is why. i know some croatians (croats hate serbs) were working for this (yugoslav/serbian) VJ's secret service during and after the 1990's war so it could have been their call, everything was possible during those super chaotic years ... i'd appreciate any snowden type information regarding my case. 

1)      maXi motherfuckers did something crazy to marija. she has not been showing up for weeks now. now the optimism is just oozing out of me. i’ve been blazing asking around, though motherfuckers have been talking gibberish to me in serbian. don’t understand their point or tactics. i go to store almost every day but today was an exception. otherwise, as immaterial, was getting signals from foreign friends to "chewtuh, chewtuh, whatever the heck it means...

2)      belgrade is very mean and nasty place and i’ll tell you that right now, i an't fucking tough enough for this war i cannot win. belgrade smells terrible and everyone’s mean. the serbian culture never peaked. getting down to the bottom of my problems around here i’ll start off with what happened to me recently when i was beaten to death almost out of blue: press here

the magic of united states is so big but it is still only a magic. not the reality. united states is working their magic so hard i thought it was going to protect me. magic is reality that cannot last unless it is repeated. and once it is repeated too often it becomes transparent and loses its charm. in the end, one serbian ill-educated govno beat me almost taking the life out of me.

mode

i did not hit back cos i do not fight - i am a lover /and serbs froze me out of business/ - plus thought the madman had a weapon in his car, but later when i was barely maintaining life it was too late. of course, it left a whole array of mental and physical problems on me (sudden onset of panic attacks; ataxia; depression; i see monsters all around me esp. in public transportation.) i am so down not even ray lewis* would have lift me up from this trouble. and a few months before i was bestially assailed in public transportation from behind, out of blue as well: press here

3)       from the day one i got here in 2003 every mean shit was pre-planned. mafia or government prepared harassment stuff methodically like they were fighting fucking american president himself. i am not fucking bill clinton you motherfuckers! had i known what was i going to be up against in serbia i’d made deep, inseparable friends of skinny joey merlino and shug knights - the only way to kick salt in their fucking game. i’ll tell you that right now. my only goal so far was to liberate the love and artist in me. what serbs did, they ruined* my individual charisma and brought me down to gutters. now, they think it's funny, they are laughing. on top of that, they do something every day and i am fucking scared of them. serbian sort of business means instilling fear. thus i missed my chances to refurbish a family and most importantly, love someone (like marija). i mean what i can do with ruined charisma around this planet? when these fucking animals look at me i shit bricks – talking 'bout usual serbian territorial pissings. so, whassup! serbian streets and public transportation are just a jungle hub for monkeys to hoot and holler while trying to fight me. in addition, motherfuckers instill fear in others so no one wants to hang out with me, except the cops on key-ops assignments trying to trick my ass into troubles or kill me. 

i’ll fucking tell you motherfuckers something: 

go screw you serbian mothers. 

all of ya who cannot stand me or have a beef with me. 
yalla, yalla. selah!

* this nation is so miserable, they would make the person like ray lewis jump off the brooklyn bridge. 
it's the land of proverbial fratricides and typical foreign ass-lickers

FOLLOW UP ON 12th of august 2013: as i entered public transportation no. 17. at zemun terminal all of a sudden a group of 10-12 strong hooligans closed in  yelling around "serbia, serbia" .. i was so stunned that i immediately went into a panic mode, and froze. then they left to the back of a bus, but what they wanted to achieve left consequences, it's several years of living shit less for me 
it's true the motherfuckers got me by the balls around here - cannot piss, talk, spit without them in sight, checking, inspecting, surveilling out. the heck knows why am i so interesting, watch out, look out, spy, spy, there goes our serbian liberties!!!!! they are bitching, and bitching, and bitching and oh my, that's shyte!
where is the freedom and human rights groups in this fucking country, when an individual serves as the live meat and punching bag for these frustrated serbian masses; i'll tell you where they are, they are all paid by united states government and what's happening in belgrade is going right up their alley no doubt

LATEST MINUTE,  AUGUST 14th 2013: IF YOU ARE A STRONG COMPANY, YOU DON'T GO ALL GUNS BLAZING AGAINST AN UNARMED MAN, SO BOYCOTT MAXI DELHAIZE IF YOU CAN ALL OVER EUROPE AND NO. AMERICA, THEY'VE BEEN INSTRUCTING THEIR CASHIERS TO TOSS AND MISHANDLE MY FOOD AROUND AND AIM LASER SCANNERS AT POINT BLANC RANGE INTO ME EVEN THOUGH I WROTE HERE MANY TIMES EARLIER IT NOT ONLY BOTHERS ME BUT BRINGS FORTH AN IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE TO EYES ETC. JUST LIKE I AM BOYCOTTING THE REST OF THESE MOTHERFUCKERS OUT THERE. HAVE A FUCKING GREAT DAY!!!

LAST MINUTE ON AUGUST 14TH 2013:
as i have incurred a justified fear of being in public, to avoid conflicts, harassment, being traumatized, getting beat up and spit on and maltreatment on the streets, stores and public transportation, most of the time i hide inside home and don't go out unless there is something important.
ON MY WAY HOME FROM DOWNTOWN BELGRADE, I CLEARLY CHOSE THE WRONG EXIT ON THE TROLLEY FROM TERAZIJE TO SLAVIJA SQUARE AROUND 21:00 hrs WHEN AND WHERE THREE HOOLIGANS BLOCKED IT AND ONE OF THEM HUSTLED OTHERS TO KICK ME "GET HIM, KICK HIM, KICK HIM" WHILE THE OTHER TWO WERE MAKING SPITTING NOISES. I GOT AN INSTANT PANIC ATTACK - I SEVERELY FROZE ON THE SPOT - AND I AM NOT SURE IF THEY KICKED ME AND SPIT ME AS MY GROINS HURT NOW. I WALKED WEIRD.
(rarely i am confronted by one person only; it is like they want to confirm their manliness in the gang only; to me that's not manly; that's extremely cowardly; and it's extremely cowardly to push this people onto me behind the curtains of invisibility) 
AS I PROCEEDED TO WALK ON SLAVIJA SQ. THREE 12-14 AGE KIDS MADE NOISES AS IF THEY WERE GOING TO SPIT AT ME AS THEY WERE PASSING BY. IT ALL STARTED SEVERAL MONTHS AGO WHEN SAME (THE SPITTING) DID MY MONTENEGRIN NEIGHBOR WHO WAS THE MAIN MAN - CHAIRMAN - WITH SERBIAN-AMERICAN FRIENDSHIP SOCIETY. NEXT TO WORKING FOR CIA AND BIA, I AM SURE THAT HE IS IN CAHOOTS WITH AMERICAN AMBASSADOR IN BELGRADE FROM WHERE HE GETS THE GREEN LIGHTS AND GOES FOR HIS ACTIONS THAT TROUBLE ME. DO NOT WANT TO WRITE HIS NAME FOR OUT OF SELF-STYLED PRINCIPLE I RESPECT ALL OF MY NEIGHBORS MAY THEY BE THE WORST TYPES ON THE PLANET. I AM SURE HE WOULD NOT DO THAT IF HE WAS NOT INSTRUCTED AND ENCOURAGED BY THE AMERICAN AMBASSADOR OR UNITED STATES CULTURAL ATTACHE (THE PEOPLE FROM THE AMERICAN EMBASSY). SO HOW CAN I ADVISE YOU NOT TO GIVE NO SLACK TO SOME SERBS AND SOME AMERICANS IN YOUR NECK OF THE WOODS WHEN I MYSELF CANNOT MAKE CLEAR DISTINCTION BETWEEN THE BAD AND GOOD SERBS AND AMERICANS? NAMELY, I DON'T KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE THAT ATTACK ME ARE BUT THERE ARE MANY OF THEM AND THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY INSTRUCTED INTO ACTION SOMEHOW. IT BOGGLES MY MIND HOW CAN CITIZENS ATTACK AND PROVOKE OTHER CITIZENS IN PLAIN DAYLIGHTS THROUGHOUT ANY "FREE" CITY? IT IS UNHEARD OFF IN CIVILIZED SOCIETIES AND EVEN IN BARBARIC NATIONS AND COUNTRIES LIKE SOMALIA ETC. THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THIS IS TO PRESS THEM HARD SO THEY GET NO SLACK UNTIL THEY ASK FOR MERCY. THEY MUST BE AWARE OF THE FACT WHY ARE NOT THEY GETTING ANY SLACK AND MUST FEEL PAIN ABOUT IT. ONLY THEN THEY WILL START THINKING && TEACHING AND INSTRUCTING THESE MONSTERS TO LEAVE ME ALONE.