Monday, August 03, 2015


i will try to write simply. and you know i am cooked when i have to be this sincere. this entire blog was created because of the two countries: united states of america and serbia and adverse effects they had on my life. 

always thought, always took for granted usa was my cradle of liberty. the last resort. the place where you’ve got friends. the place where you would run to breathe the air of liberty and freedom. and that is what i did once, but what happened to me in the united states  when they broke my family – i am too proud to forgive or let alone return to the united states of america in this lifetime, ever again. i’ve been hurt enough not to think about usa anymore; this country used to be on my mind 24 hours a day. i think i had wanted to improve it in my own personal fashion, which included being critical about it too, but it is all gone, i won't and don't want to remember the united states now. primarily, it is my pride and then list of everything else that was going on. pride or whatever it is called when it would bother you to create another family in the same place where you were not allowed to uphold the previous one in the first place.

the problem: i do not see any other country, any other earthly star shining brightly that would be an imaginary oasis of freedom and safety that would stand in for the united states of america. there are no substitutes.

thus without choice, there is no last resort, no hope, no security. and oh My, i would flee serbia again!!!!!!!!!!

earlier i was fleeing serbia’s oppressive system, and now i would just flee from its people. it does not matter if i feel serbia’s pulse as the artist or plain citizen, i feel exodus, terrible misunderstanding, great impending danger, fear, defamation and constant insecurity combined with hatred, many synonyms for hatred, organized gang-stalking, prejudice, animosity, selective targeting, tons of ignorance, lack of trust as well as oppression; i have been under attack since 2003; numerous means involved; i have not witnessed, read about, seen or experienced anything similar in my life; there are only two words to describe serbia from my point: ultimate evil; there is practically nothing next to my family grave and some properties that connects me with this country....just where to when my liberty and solidarity star has died?! oh Lord, this is so sad, disturbing and angrily frustrating, give me any place else where i won't understand what they are talking about, where i won't be targeted by the gung-ho nationalist groups, their incited peers and/or quasi-nationalist individuals on daily basis or as soon as i step outside. i don't mean well to those that won't let me be and achieve peace of mind. serbia has stultified my life, even pure hell would have been better

belgrade, serbia; august 3rd 2015


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