chinese torture in serbia

first off all i am the guy that does not complain unless there is a real problem. i am not a sissy.

note: it is important to also read the following post whereby it is explained why i don't see future for myself and why am i unable to go back on tracks and continue living at full throttle

i spent a hefty portion of my life in united states, the rest of it in serbia. there were only few occasions when i felt as i did today as i encountered several tall muscular athletes of chinese olympic team in vero supermarket in belgrade serbia (a clue: hotels “m” and "n" where international sport figures usually stay in serbia are nearby). at first i thought they were japanese because they were built very well, but they had t-shirts with china olympic team writing on them; it was obvious they were intimately familiar / upset with me in some negative way and they were on very rude behavior so i thought they were going to jump me as they demonstrated a threat by producing hissing noises, coughing persistently in some inhuman fashion considering too their body language that was imposing, aggressive and highly antagonistic. they were also very loud as if they wanted to alert everyone in the store. as a result, i basically felt as shit. i tried to keep my composure and cool but i was also scared. i regret i had not turn my cell video taper on promptly to record this mess. i hid and waited in some aisles until the china dudes were all gone. i understand i am not very popular in china, not very popular in former communist countries. i am scared now too, because i have to take it off my chest, write on my blog here and who knows what the communist party of china is going to decide in response to this - i believe they may even send someone over to liquidate me. this is no joke! communists have no mercy especially if they are one of the greatest powers in the world.

most of the time in my daily routine i am trying to adopt masonic principles of brotherly love and help and love all men, i am revolving and creating new principles 24 – 7, but alas with these kind of people it is impossible to be good and positive all the time, as they generate repulsion, shiftiness and hatred even in me. they so did me in for the next three days, i will have to ponder about and infuse world’s negativity in order to continue forth. i feel also defeated in trying to bring out the best of me to the world.

and then i am also thinking why am i here in serbia? the explanation is in the following passage as well as the post below.

but also, there must be a reason for this madness and the only thing i can think of is that in serbia someone needs a decoy for hatred whereby hatred and attention are turned away and channeled into another direction for things like serb state's television bombing with numerous civilian casualties during a war with nato in 1999. not knowing why the entire world here is after me inclusive of even the chinese players that come to serbia i feel guilt for these deaths – and naturally i want to react. and i am doing it here. and i am often angry screaming bloody murder and use bad language because i did not do nothing. it was not me that was responsible for these deaths. or anything else that required these amounts of domestic and international hatred. why is no one attacking and harassing those guys that are responsible for something like that?!! i believe because they are thriving in a milieu setting of former communist party, they are protected by the old boy communist network, and i am just a patsy - a distraction from real problems and culpabilities.