in serbia last saturday was a soul saturday so i went to cemetery to pay respect and pray for the reposed. at around 11 am the largest graveyard in belgrade was nearly empty as the temps were climbing to 42 degrees celsius even though enough breeze was blowing that it kept putting out the candles persistently. all of a sudden, a middle-aged lady in blackish clothes and hat appeared and marched on to adjacent highly abandoned grave - one yard away from my family's burial spot. then without any praying, paying a minute of solemn respect, leaving flowers, burning incent, or doing any other related activity that is usual to such memorial events she pulled out a bunch of around 50 candles and a jar and started jamming those candles into it in order to light them. it appeared she was in haste. I felt something was fishy though i could not quite keep an eye on to her as i kept restarting candles. soon thereafter her strikingly large number of candles started burning in the jar and as she said “goodbye” she promptly departed the scene as if her only choir or duty was to light up those candles and leave. as the fire and paraffin wax gave smoke it dawned on me that it could have been something else in the jar besides those candles and I decided to leave abruptly as well but not before I inhaled some of that thing which made me feel stone dead. I cannot forgive myself for not asking her what was the last name of her relatives, I bet she would not know. I assume her only task was to create a make-believe performance as if she was there for the same memorial reason and then light something along with those candles. I wished I had left earlier. later that evening my blood oxygen level was as low as 88% going up to only 91%, a hypoxic state, the readout was same on three different meters and I felt as if my left side of chest was injured and blocked. still do. I even bought some liquid oxygen today to try to improve my situation. however, out of fear of (politically motivated) persecution I did not have guts to go to ER. I cannot wait for the changes in the american mission in serbia, as I never felt more insecure than nowadays. whether i have doubts that the graveyard event was a clear assassination attempt, I would say the chances are 95% in favor of it inclusive of everything I perceived and witnessed although I have no clue who masterminded it, it does not look like the regular serbian secret service was involved, it looks more like the paramilitary or mob kind of affair. the lady was the perfect executioner and a good fit for the role just going by the fact that i could not identify her if need be as i was not paying enough attention before she left. and if the big hype did not go on around me whereby in those 20 years of my stay in serbia I had not met some of the major regional players in the most occult fashion they wanted to present themselves to me apparently only to touch base - I would be feeling paranoid, but logically I assume, on the account of the said, I was sent here in 'trading places' fashion for a reason, most likely as a guinea pig to test the regional as well as the national attitude, bias, actions and nerve only then to mirror back the same towards serbia and the region to be treated in the same way or fashion that I was treated by [personal dog eat dog reflections mainly resulting from the infamous, accursed, everlasting and legendary serbian national schism/divisionism were stated over time in the blog herewith] and hereby I want those senders or the postmaster to know that 'everything' has been taken to another level, but I guess they know it already … the experiment should be over.
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