al-Qaida (and the kafkaian undoing)

al-Qaida (2010)

/as an artist/ painted this painting just to point out that what al-qaida did to america on 9/11/01, america did worse to me on 9/6/02, so i cannot put parity mark between al-qaida and united states because what "the land of the free" (if you are truly free why highlight that?) did was unexpected and by default it makes it a far worse experience. in other words, sudden blow that ruins family by a hardened criminal does not hurt as the kafkaian twist perpetrated by "the friends".
my point is that usa denied me as a person and denied all my rights to anything important. it is like a biblical sentence - even criminals have a chance to reenter the society another time, not me (according to all united states actions and my situation since 1995-2002 to the present day). so finally they put me in prison with u.s. mobsters and al-qaida warriors from egypt, syria, czechnya, libya, pakistan etc and vowed not to let me out until i signed i will go back voluntarily to serbia. never went before any judge in that process - in the country that "supposedly" respects laws, due process and human right conventions - just the brute force of the system! i call this experience surreal not just kafkaian. btw, after that i never saw the rest of what used to be a very happy family again. i have not been able to recuperate from that blow to this day.

alas, my point is not to complain about what united states did to me. alas, i want to cry out the amazing fact that in american al-qaida styled prison i felt more freedom, light and sympathy /from the guards and other prisoners, thieves and killers that is/ than i have been feeling and am feeling now on the streets of belgrade - serbia. i am soaking up tons of serbian hatred kafkaian way, it is simply amazing and unbelievable; it just makes me a better and better person. and surprisingly, the more better i become, serbs are getting lower in all possible ways. selah.
cannot even order a sandwich anywhere. today in toma joint on terazije it felt like i ate a kitchen cleaning powder. either that or it was served with tons of hatred so it tasted bitter, one way or the other. 

it feels as if serbs are competing who will do me in more, in a quicker and badder way! oh satan, why are so evil thee? selah!

i think i was sent to serbia with a reason. they ruined my family (which promptly made me a collateral) - and "i am in the shithouse" now (my situation/position in belgrade) which prevents me from continuing with normal life. i believe i am some signal (a sign) or some other sort of tool for united states whereby they make global moves in serbia (balkans, belgrade). i do not know exactly how it works - but just the bare fact that for instance i cannot start normal conversations as i used to and make friends (as an outgoing person i used to be - everyone is either scared of me or aggressive to the point of escalating a fight - NOW ALMOST EVERYONE HAS THE ATTITUDE WHICH IS SHOCKING AND MAKES ME A TOTAL ALIEN IN THIS WORLD) makes me wonder how long this type of american quarantine is going to last. i wonder will it last for the rest of my entire life?