Oh Marija I cried for you.

Marija is Serbian for Mary. i'd never let down the one i am crazy about.

let me be clear, even 99^th degree mason would not be able to deal with my situation in serbia. as i respect all those who have devoted their life to the Craft, i am incompetent and low on fuel to still keep on pursuing marija locally let alone able to crown efforts into a Marija & Me'S family. basically lack my super charge and help of friends that are nowhere to be found. as i was waiting to check out with her, Marija for example, ran away again smiling to look at me from a distance. it appeared to me as her colleagues said to her 'you go girl', but she kept prankishly smiling and that was it. too ignorant to go for broke and come forth to me and say something stupid but promising, for that's what i'll get promptly. she tied my hands earlier saying she do not need my card, and I just do not want to press on because I am not too sure what’s going on. Like I ever was . i know i am not exactly her prince on the white horse, but i am ready to undergo any plastic surgery procedures to come within the reach of her expectations if that's gonna make her happy. or, perhaps she is okay with the way i looks. or, perhaps she don't care. i think i should proceed as she don't care.