SHALOM GOES A LONG WAY yet my life goes in nothing but the fear and suffering

Belgrade February 22^nd 2017

trying to figure out why many Serbian secret service members are greeting each other with shalom – on facebook for example - which would be kind of cool if I did not feel scared for my life in this country – and the only one who could have designed the suffering that I am going through would be the “serbice” – Serbian Secret Service – now also known as BIA.  there are people here that openly go public bragging about how they slaughtered political opponents in the past. I see myself as a threat for this country – in their eyes, surely.  because I am not sitting down waiting to sink myself in into the Serbian sea of hatred, yet I am trying to stay afloat and fight off the hatred, but the more I am fighting the deeper hole I am digging myself in because a long time ago sense and reason had left the Serbian soil.

Serbian children do not have schoolbuses that will drive them to school, instead they utilize public transportation like everyone else. there was a child today standing on the bus door as I was going to cemetery to visit a family grave. this boy did not want to move and let me pass inside instead he was pushing me back with rucksack and bucking – it was a child – of course I could not say or do nothing to help myself out. Instead one lady came forth saying to this kid:  what are you doing? why are you doing that? what grade are you going to? you cannot be doing that? the child replied: fourth grade. I decided to exit on the following stop and walk the rest of the way. there were four hooligan types standing at the next door so I had to squeeze my way out and back again by this dangerous child. only in Serbia I could easily imagine some idiot parents coaching their kids: he cannot do nothing to you because of your age – just kick him in the testicles when he is passing by. this seems to be the Serbian reality – the way I got to know some of these people – this is how some people think and behave around here. there are no liabilities for anything. esp. since there is not one person in this city that does not know who I am or how I look like – I was doomed as of the time I got here – everyone seems to be allowed to do what they want to me in public – they can spit at me as I am passing by – as many of them do – just like the motherfucker who did it today while my lip was bleeding – I cut myself with aluminum foil while eating burrito. there were so many occasions that I do not care anymore about serbian spitting and man-made noises etc but when they spit into your mouth while your lip is bleeding that is the problem. Serbs. I should add some and many because they are not all like that of course.

next to the guys that live well off the serbian system - police officers, secret service agents, new moneymakers, politicians and their families, only  Serbian hooligans can feel entirely safe in this country because whoever catches a problem with them can expect to become a dead meat overnight as the latter will wait for you and shoot you or beat you up unlike the elite who will pay to crush you or otherwise annihilate you. among some others, these guys here are allowed to live like kings in this country:

if i chose to live like that i would have been one of them - the untouchable, but from the point of art  lover i would have had a problem with that living arrangement. instead, every serbian scum can touch me, kick me, spit at me. this is why the rest of Serbia can take out their weenies and show them off to me – as Im unprotected, soft target of insignificant value that every Serbian motherfucker can attack as they please and like. any place at any time.are they jealous or what?! yes, they must be jealous. there is no other explanation. 
i hope you can read between the lines that i am boiling on the inside but cannot open my soul and be fucking sincere for i am trying to stay freaking politically correct, it is not a sissy writing it - i am trying to remain human.