no catharsis possible

psy-warfare: you can clearly see one powerful disturbing light or laser pointed down towards my window (Nov. 10th, 2013) from the "jedinstvo" military highrise and the other one went off as soon as i started filming /i cannot trace its position on the video material/ which only means they are surveilling and harassing 24-7. are my eye problems the result of their actions, in other words is this only a psy-warfare - or the damage is physical here likewise like when they were beating me to almost death (fear, impaired speech, and unspecified damages left as consequences)? 
but, why - what did i do to them????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know there's something clearly wrong and evil with these guys but that's not an answer i wanted to get

my heart bleeds, i rarely come out – out of fear of being attacked by unknown serbian people in the streets.

yesterday on 05/11/2013 i was spat at in the eye by unknown attacker at bajloni farmers market. i carried a large bag and a backpack and for a minute i thought whether to hit him with all i had because God knows if he had AIDS or hepatitis and thus obtained opportunity to transmit it to me because his state SERBIA sponsored so. i did not, i had expensive irrecoverable belongings and i did not want to spend the rest of a day in jail. it all started with my neighbor mr. Milosevic who apparently on one of his television interviews told that he worked for CIA! the guy is obviously going berserk every time he sees me and goes into a spitting rage. never did anything bad to him, did not even know who he was, the only thing that comes into my mind is his daughter that perhaps had a crush on me, and falsely reported to him perhaps that i was looking at her while in fact i did not even want to say hi. to top it all off his staff called me yesterday to solicit voting for him on nearing serbian elections. i am writing this a day after, when all i really wanted to say just evaporated from my head.

it is crazy, now half of this effing city is spitting at my head level as they are passing by like crazy. not exactly directly at me as the piece of shit that did it yesterday but very close for comfort. is this a CIA thing? i am not sure, but it sounds like it. seems so easy to make these stupid nation do crazy things.

the other thing they do which they think bothers me – is pretending to cough as being sick in their heads. it just tells me how stupid they are, it does not bother me at all, but perhaps they were advised coughing like crazy is a secretive signal of belonging to some larger than life entity, like the masonic circle. that’s where i think forced coughing comes from.

in addition, those working in stores do not let the laser thing go. while anywhere in the world sellers do not point price laser scanners into eyes of their buyers, serbs are competing to do so.

i imagine an american would have told maxi (name of the store) cashier:

if the laser light touches me you are going to be reported for assault. do you understand me?

serb cashier: excuse me?!

it is a deliberate act on your behalf, i am going to report you to your management. /maxi store clerk keeps pointing laser price scanner into the american's eyes./

knock it off with the laser. if it gets into my eyes it is a direct harm you are be going out of work. /she finally knocks it all off with tremendous disappointment/

if we understand each other, then just put it away. discussion is over. you got what you deserve - you got my respect.

the way they are going about their behaving they are surely not getting any of my respect. local youth idols are criminals and hooligans, those that live fast and get big bucks for mafia range of crime. if they even have introduced art in school classes their education is totally ineffective as when i see these kids – the first thing that comes to my mind is they teach them how to be criminals and tumultuous hooligans or, if girls, then elite escorts and stars of porn industry not a decent, law abiding, honest citizens like i think when i see kids in austria and germany on television. not that they do not exist, they surely do, but the cloud of doom has hid everything else worth mentioning around here. clinging on hope but my fingers and mind start letting go

conclusion: everything being largely so, and coming from serbia, novak djokovic is extraterrestrial.  it is impossible that he belongs to the same sort of matter i am writing about.

wish if i could find me a girl so much more attractive than marija so she
could see me happy, so happy i could die. if i only knew if she ever shed a tear or thought about me? she's always been cold as ice. perhaps one day she'll come to me when she realize what life is about. without love, you can see in my art there is no hapiness,
it truly deserted me
Nov. 7th 2013: felt immediately sorry for coming out at dark -  harassment continued. ran into a blonde many times more exciting than Marija, she gave me a green light but for the past decade i've been running on empty. serbs drained a life out of me. their permanent prosecution has been beating the living shit out of me. what's more, it is not over - it only continues. just could not proceed, do not even know what i was supposed to do. but i am sure she wanted to make friends with me. if you want to know the definition of crazy just find out why serbia does this to me. naturally, i assume in order to have excuse for ruining someone's life serbs had to mount several reasons, although none of them was ever disclosed to me. i feel as if in the bigfoot land. the rules are so different than i what used to know when i taught law. i am sure this an't the same Earth no more as sure as the sun rises in the east
backlash: i scooped up courage to exit home once again this evening, november 7th, only to be confronted by numerous high school hooligans in the streetcar that ran to banjica. serbs should immediately close down not only soccer stadiums but public schools too, because what their system is creating are real monsters. these kids are real monsters. one of them was sawing off a piece of harmonica rubber that connects front and rear deck of the streetcar. they were pushing and shoving inclusive of girls too, and it is highly likeable to be hit and kicked or get stabbed at any moment. it is impossible to get away because this is probably one of the worst public transportations on the planet, always overcrowded with a lot of jerks ready to fight push and shove. you do not get what you paid for, forget comfort. if it was free, i would not recommend riding in serbia - just avoid this country at all costs. on top of it, other motherfuckers - including all walks of life - saw that i was afraid and they started adding fuel to fire by giving me evil looks and making noises with their keys as they often do. someone told me once do not touch the shit as the shit will stink, i devotedly follow that advice but it does not work in serbia. again, i do not know what is wrong with these serb people and what do they want from me? what is the point of this public degradation of human being?! i can rightly say that i am publicly lynched almost every day by unknown individuals. there are so many instances of it that it is impossible to count them all day after day. i am sure they are not only pure evil but crazy.
november 7th 2013, 11PM: currently two laser type beams / or very powerful disturbing lights / from the military housing highrise where resides mr aleksandar vasiljevic,  the former head of the Kontra-Obaveštajna Služba (KOS or Counter-Intelligence) are pointed into my window from two different stories. i am sure their plan is to kill me. there is no other explanation for all this interest in me and provocations and disturbances 24 - 7 without legit reasons and without end.

today, november 8th, I came across two strange looking individuals at kumodraska str. bus station, one of them had the eyes of the killer, both looked like junkies sponsored and coordinated by the government (secret services) to do the dirty work, as I approached they started singing a military farewell song as if invoking someone’s death, it made me have cold chills all over my body, with scornful looks they sang about someone who is going to be departing (die) pretty soon and it was obvious their evil chanting was directed at me. it was clear to me it was no joke. this level of harassment and threat is on much higher level than regular street thugs. it does an irreparable psychological damage, while the thug that beat me to almost death this year left me with permanent speech impairment. i did something in my life, published a book about a great artist Nicholas Petkovich. while i am sure someone has obtained tasks to make a direct negative impact on the quality of my life the rest of the nation is trying to discredit my sincere efforts to come out of this stalemate as they are doing everything to put me in the ballpark with public pests and criminals.

what breaks my heart is that serb intellectuals are getting falsely informed, some of them approve what goes on, they are taking side of the those that are sponsoring hooligans, detestable educational system, aggression, public lynching all performed quietly under the umbrella of pure evil. i do not believe any human has suffered so many stresses over such a long period of time.

here is the footage of the guy that was also harassed by the government 's secret services only in montenegro (until 2008, in federation with serbia)
he was also beaten to almost death even though he was a boxing champion, he was spat at, they made all sort of noises with various metals as a part of harassment, and finally had someone (a policeman) execute him after he had made his complaint-confession on youtube, just apparently he knew why it was going to happen - because of his political views:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PD36wymHTHY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpmicujeCso&feature=youtu.be