in Serbia you can't crop sanity worth a fuck

please read responsibly, this is not a rant 

i just don't feel alive anymore 

have you ever met someone so angry and determined to destroy a being by constantly spreading rumors, introducing wild moments in private/personal life and digging a grave for the object of hatred? a couple of years ago they battered my head with a metal stick and it turns out that the guy who did it is the regime’s buddy boy. well a great number of my fellow countrymen won’t introduce themselves but they had been trying to flatten me since 2003. the reason why these dudes are extremely jealous could be that I have been unbearably successful in something. i could describe that as staying afloat and still breathing in the madness that surrounds us while outclassing a few in what I do best -- and i an't the best in chilling. successful, yes, but i am not the GOAT. successful, yes, but with no aegis. if I had an aegis them psychos would have been as well behaved as Viennese choir boys. instead, they have been turned on to me as if i was the GOAT and there is some underlying rivalry. it appears those translations of who i am and what i do took the wrong turn at some Serbian Albuquerque point and someone got all messed up in the headquarters, the base of these serbian masterminds. i must hereby explain to them it is nothing immoral, nothing they have to particularly worry about. it concerns love and spiritual things that permeate mind. regardless, the USA had set up and sent me on this great adventure but I do not blame them, they were also lied to and manipulated by the serbian bloody secret agents that still decide who lives and dies in serbia by direct / indirect targeting and promoting crafty schemes. they got me labeled. it is not the usa’s fault that I am here. it is my fault that early on I was trying to make friends with serbs going into serbian church in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania on Sundays. I should have minded my own business as I did not come to america to introduce Serbian ways. I should have made my own way without interfering with serbian community in general and at all. and I hope the Gxd will judge -- for many of my countrymen that are looking down on me share selfish jealousy; in the community, if you stand out among those who consider you as peers you are a dead meat, a smoked-up pipe. therefore, the stinky trail originated there and it only got worse. on the flipside, right now, I would have traded success for the family life which many of my 'public executioners' [i have never met], if not all, enjoy. interestingly, they come from all walks of life inclusive of the secret service agents as well as the plain scumbags roaming streets and naturally those in between [not geniuses just cowards, muppets and thugs]! somehow their agenda is the same. they all recognize me as the legitimate target. someone there to lynch his ass. while I have no chance to be paid for this experience and suffering, I wish I had an alien pocket army, someone to help me deal with what has been messing up the good days.