being savaged in belgrade, serbia

the entire Novak Djokovic’s city of belgrade is built on death sites and coagulated karma is a bitch. this negative vibing must have its source of toxicity. there must be something that makes this serbian habitat a funnel, a death trap for the free mind. go figure. i know people like Anderson Cooper would have sealed their fate here. a great many of evil men are all around you. I did nothing to them but I feel the outpouring of blame for the NATO attacks against Serbia and there are self-organized bands of patsies that do vengeful acts upon me. it is a Serbian blood feud imagined, masterminded and modeled by the government; not the regular civvies that are fascinated by it as they conveniently use the open go - to vent off on their peer. I cannot share more details as I was advised by doing that, I give the bloodthirsty ideas to proceed with their harassment – as serbs are the pastmasters of torment. their narrative of course - whatever it has been - is shot full of holes but the naïve aggressive average joes are taking it for granted. the only thing I got on my side is the mental momentum that pushes me forward automatically, because lies are easily defeatable, in the victim’s head first. the things they got are persistence, numbers, absence of logic and that ugly - see through - mind. they are frustrated cos they cannot get their U.S. generals and Im the easy target to blame and deal with. any local who would try to defend me would hand his ass. I am amazed that I cannot get anybody in America to listen to make these guys much humbled most likely because they cannot see far fetched movements on the part here; they do not feel it is a tactical ideological thing, but instead a serbian tribal dog eat dog appetite and small fish to fry efforts and narrative. or they may be thinking that my say is a smoke blowing exercise. we are not buying this. indeed, it is not. it’s the stand. I have suffered this evening a physical consequence which I cannot describe – as stated – and I can only let you assume and speculate what it was that put me in duress. with what was going on recently I had all indications that some attacks would be a go. a number of serbs were told to start making man made noises again and they did something like flashing cash or throwing money before me as if I was not going to call them to it. serbian flimflamming narrative has been changing, now it is about money but used to be many various things allowing for variations. I wish I had some dough but nevertheless, serbian myth about me will live on and on. it is not impressive nor exciting but it is working, perfected and harmful. nothing has been significantly changing in the way I have been suffering for 17 long serbian years. their hateful model of dealing with the assumed “traitor” will never fall to pieces. no serb will go through the humiliating walkbacks that won’t be fun to watch. a street with my name would not sound nice, and I cannot handle the excuses. so how would they make it up to me at any time in future, as if I am expecting from the tormentors to make me pleased, not on my life. I was hoping that by the changing tide someone in America would somehow get the idea to marry me off – some Quaker friends, say – or at least play with me in writing, make me feel wanted, I need hugs after all, but looks like I was hopeful too much, the golden fate has been passing me by; its touches were ephemeral. as a snowflake, the life is fleeting away and it is happening right now. for the moment you stop, think and ask - is this the rite of passage for becoming one of them, maybe.