WHEN YOU SEE NO LOGIC, THEY DRIVE YOU INTO A MADNESS.

when you know you have not done any harm to anyone (not even a shifty look) and someone within the serbian society keeps pushing agenda that you have actually done something as many serbs are after you provoking in public as the form of punishment (goes on for many years) - you then keep trying to find what it is – you keep trying to find your guilt and along you are measuring the amount of heat that you are taking – the immense hatred, scorn and harassment that you are getting on the street and from the serbian public with what it could be related to – you are, like an investigative journalist, trying to find something, some crime that reciprocates that amount of hatred and psychological torture; and the only adequate thing that you can come up with are very serious crimes. a murder for example. then you are thinking a lot about it, trying to connect, to involve yourself in different situations like a practicing actor, as serbs keep on spitting and harassing and then you think some more, and more, and more, and it is getting very difficult to cope with things that do not make any sense as the very hard harassment is still present and there are not any answers. finally, you dream up the most terrible things. in fact, just by thinking you made more problems to yourself as now you have involved yourself with anything you ever read about and serbian newspapers, unlike in the countries like France, are peppered with details from various crimes. the pressure starts spinning it all and the psychological damage is beyond compare.

and when you know there are also those that allegedly keep working on your narrative allegedly seeming to be the portion of the force behind these public attacks (like mr. vojkan milosevic, your neighbor who started the spitting thing and who is in charge of the antiterrorist institute of serbia or allegedly mr. vojislav seselj - you cannot argue with amount of rebelliousness his followers have  established in the past) -- what are your lucky chances of defending yourself and avoiding evil in the former Yugoslavia -- if you are one set against many thousands of evil minded serbs without an amount of proper assets or friends?

naturally you do not want to be a patsy but the persons on such positions of power and their connections and assets could link you to every crime in serbia and their tentacles will be giving you all sorts of nasty and mind-boggling hints throughout the city. your sugar level skyrocket due to a stress and what not else likewise. Im always saying what is my future in this country too?

it is not in my nature to hate – but if I could pinpoint the ones pushing the serbian agenda in my case i would ______  ____ (feel free to fill in to your liking) all cos what they are doing to me is one of the extremely brutal punishments next only to hanging, burning, stoning; it sounds like the state execution.