writing facts just in case something badder than bad happens to me

things to do for today :

forget sebian laguage

forget serbianm lagnauge

forget serbia linguare

not all serbs but those that behave like the ruling radical croatian majority, project the image of serbian enemy number one on me. I simply do not feel safe in this country. I’d rather live in croatia that is ruled by liberal croats which are not so radical. Dalmatia rules in that regard! serbia devours my ass and rapes my mind, they are about as aggressive as fuck. i want to get away from this place ... to some place nice ... period ... the new local trend is to impel the youth to take chances and harass me with impunity and extreme prejudice, thus the serbian youth is coming at me but I do not know how they motivate them – perhaps by painting me as traitor altho I never knew any serbian secrets or by simply saying he is a CIA project or the CIA manager for the region - go get him! these civilians and young guns do not questions the morality, the right or wrong of harassing me but they just do it for fun and the country. Serbia I need my testosterone back. And Lord, I need my pocket army, Chuck Norris and Ventura types. I have been so victimized that there was not a person in the history of this world with that long history of torment and bullying - over 22 years, so much so that i became the household name aka the slave of the serbian nation. the masterminds behind all this are probably saying, he is a national menace, anyone not threatening him Will and should be hunted down by the Serbian public instead [of Him]. the ruling party forever! in this country, if you did a thousand good things and allegedly one small bad thing, my countrymen will find you another thousand bad things just to fit them well to go along with your created image. post communist serbian society does not recognize self-made successful people, it must down play them into thieves and conmen, while only those approved by the post-communist kiss and kin, state and its heritage will count and be allowed to move on with many breaks given. i have nothing left to do but mimicking life - they 've been stepping all over my dead body, my corpse for so long ...

to show their true colors, this year in serbia these ustasha doctors [perhaps the offspring of WWII ustasha boyovniks with altered names which were admitted into partisans as their bloody business runs in the genes] baked me in CT scanner without reason [Jasenovac-style] for over 5 minutes when I visited belgrade’s ER after fall; x ray techs could have been instructed by the regime’s agents overseeing ER at all times, and when I complained to doctors about staying so long in the scanner their answer was - and I have it recorded - you are over 40 years old and you have lived long enough. ever since then my skin has been itching on the back on daily basis and peeling on the nose while I have been feeling broken down powerless and unmotivated. as if the serbian state put a jinx on me. as if the serbian secret military group 69 that puts out jinxes on foreign statesmen has put out a jinx on me likewise.

next big bad thing I know, out of numerous petty ones, at renault and mercedes car dealership in Serbia where I bought my vehicle which is still under warranty, the serviceman stank the interior to high heavens with some horrid resin smell coming out from the vents at all times and dumped used brake parts full of semi asbestos particles into my trunk. now even after several months I feel that terrible smell and particles are still flying into air all over the interior coming off upholstery, you cannot clean that. I wanted them to deodorize my AC but the stench is offensively unbelievable and was definitely done on purpose to either have me crashed somewhere for the concentration of terrible terrible smell during the first few months was so high that I had constant headaches from the stuff they initially used. I drive Renault but the same thing would happen if I drove Mercedes benz. in that dealership the same servicemen service both brands and in other geographically closer official dealerships I was also dissatisfied with the service that I thought driving two hours to the one where I, initially and actually, bought vehicle would give me worry-free homecourt advantage service. not on my nelly! I would never buy Renault or Mercedes again for I know for a fact that I cannot service these vehicle brands hustle free in Serbia, period. to change oil I would probably have to go to hungary or romania which is a long ride away. talking about my normal life here and constitutional rights that are existing on paper only, not in the minds of some countrymen. I also have new holes in my tires where someone tried to make them unsafe to the point of blowing while driving at speed. please see images enclosed.

as the result of this animosity - I have been trying to forget serbian language, unfortunately to no avail.

the only good thing that happened to me this year was in the summer time when I was mowing grass in the yard. the heat was immense and there was a wind blowing around us (lawnmower and myself) raising dust and for half an hour I thought I was at the greasy grass [little big horn] on June 25^th 1875. it was awesome experience that let me mentally and physically escape the serbian reality for a brief while. I could imagine myself back there on the field and due to the choice of fancy weapons - having the same penchant for - I sort of knew who I was on the battlefield. now I feel all the Indians I fought were those figures I met in real life nowadays both in the USA and Serbia, my life is being sort of doomed like after a high powered level curse. I feel discredited as Novak Djokovic who lost at the flushing meadows [NYC] this year and I was full of myself. I bet Nole Djokovic was too cos I trusted him and made a bet. sometimes things go unplanned – this was the case with the number of events in my lifetime.