slave on top of you

following the bud light's superbowl slapping campaign 

i was completely obliterated from the american memory.
                                                                                                     those were the last kicks before my spoon was laid to rest. 
and deservedly so.
AND NOW, my image within serbian community is nothing more than catastrophic.

serbia and art have been two parties in disagreement for some time, it has been a lasting feud. something like comparing New Hope to Norristown artwise. I mean I am thirsting here for the community of art lovers like I know exists in the USA. in comparison to the USA, Serbia is lumberjack level agricultural habitat considering the number of people with less than a basic knowledge of what’s what and who’s who in fine art field, which goes less than 2% that makes serbia a highly virulent environment for not anyone can be a discerning man of sense of right and wrong without a proper knowledge of fine art. as far as art virtues are concerned, the locals are mostly into steroids abuse, bodybuilding and street fights. porn industry is on the rise as well and there is plenty of cheap booze (dope, laughing gas, potato chips and meds are available too) which you can legally drink in public and hack your sorry ass existence to abundance and highs. thus serbian people can laze about having both their wham bam and bam bam all day long.
now, back to catastrophic. 

namely, I’ve been to xerox shop several times and whenever those standing behind me see that I am printing something visual as well as textual (I must highlight) related to art they make noises and grunts of disapproval trying to get under my skin in comparison to what even a scorning shut-eye laugh would sound comforting like blessing - which makes me think that I am being slandered beyond imagination because I consider myself number one authority on things that matter in serbian and international art waters and no one in their right mind would allow themselves something like that in front of the expert or any person of influence.

after spending last 25 years of my life living and cherishing art around a clock, I ask what is wrong with my public image around the globe so even those French tourists, unknown to me, were trying to creep me out recently in Belgrade out of blue. it comes in as unpleasant surprise for ideally the most common sense for understanding I was hoping to find in countries like the united states or france, and not with extremely prejudicial nationalities who roast slandered men on sight and ask questions later. My Goodness. if i were a half-baked pudding head the experience would have been less painful. as though it is the art only that soothes the effects of stressors on the mind and body. loving someone would do the same, yet you cannot pursue love, somebody to commiserate in this neck of the woods when life is falling apart around you.
since I came to serbia I’ve been placed in check by the local authorities (this is why Serbia has got small letters in my book) who do not want any positive news about me to get out – only negative signals and news are allowed. there is a ton of that, from being called madman to more sinister things. talking about the hallmarks of one deep state. I hope they are acting out on just immature jealousy and sick prejudice or I don’t know what else could spark the opportune side of the serbian society to prove 100%^devastating for my existence and future. enough people keep on stalling. most ideally, they would see me turn into the biblical tree, growing in sand and living off a morning mist. i mean i have a pulse, it's all i claim. i am prevented to enjoy my success. i am prevented to set up a family or make bank. i have been severely mispresented to the serbian public and the world. of course, i am going to resist and speak English language which they cannot cater to. entirely wrong picture has been painted about me. nobody really knows anything about me. many people think that I am some kind of small-time crook who was exiled into Serbia by the americans. more likely I was misrepresented to the Americans by the fucking American serbs who posed as my friends and did stuff behind my back which I in good faith was not able to decipher in timely fashion so I was destroyed by these jealous backstabbers. finally last year they engineered a crime record whereby one of their government officials / executors attacked me with a weapon and in the court it will appear that i was the only to blame (he is using a top hat serbian lawyer - B.B. - who span the things around like he span his karate career - another serbo-montenegrin fake) even though he beat my head up with his metal stick the attacker is walking scot-free. however, luckily most of it was caught by security cameras and i will be posting more on this in time to come.

in other words in serbia they want to make you a felon (against a good deal of video counter-evidence) so you cannot become the one of the free ones and one of the kind as well. make me wanna claim : we'll see about that.

many local serbian mainstream collectors and gallery owners are big ego - fakes and posers with delusions of grandeur. this is the other more realistic side of a medal. money talks here like everywhere. except for a few that I cannot talk about, for obvious reasons. here you can easily influence people to marvel at your wisdom and believe that you are the tops. Serbian people will believe anything they are told. when some of these fake farts start bragging to me, I could put them down easily but instead I let them go ahead blab incoherently, trip up and speak their mind but now the joke is over. I hope none of my friends will find themselves in this, I am especially talking about my enemies.

I do not feel like I belong here so how can I say anything about it? I am legally obliged to stay in Serbia and I am sure that anyone in my situation would lose their mind. especially if you are set against the entire pool of do-nothings who are big on slander and replaceables (service providers) to whom you were described as someone lower and lazier than them. that is where disapproval comes from – as the serbs do not see me as any kind of community leader and the greatest art enthusiast that ever lived on these grounds, instead they project me more as their slave whom they are trying to pull back into their swamp of mediocrity. and how the slave can be on top of you. impossible. the situation here is very simple: without liberty there is not any dignity and with stripped dignity there is no psychical integration in the society and no advancement of human relations. so, my conclusion is that I am not, not at all, free in Serbia.

update on july 8th 2019:

who’s gonna tell serbs to cut that shit out

I do not know what is with this people, are they stupid (and also mean) or what. this morning I came to lilly to buy some magnesium packs and the lilly clerks were acting like I came to rob the damn place. store manager, lady in black, even followed me out but when she saw that I was driving something good she backed down. like in a gold digger her attitude changed from lame to jittery. this helped me realize that success is the key. the suppressor. only, do I look like a monkey to all of them?